Digging deeper…

What do I mean by digging deeper? Well it has finally become apparent that I am finally starting to shift my awareness. Because I have been looking towards my own tools and techniques over the past few years I am starting to look outwards. Basically, I have done so much soul searching and inner work that I forgot to synchronise it with what’s already out there. Long story short, I have been following the law of attraction rules without even realising it.

Once upon a time I found a book called The Secret. With all the GREAT reviews I read it but became unstuck at the thought of having to almost siv through all my emotions and ONLY think positively. I wasn’t in a good place at the time and like anyone that struggles I thought this book was going to have all the answers. It didn’t obviously, what it did do was pose another million questions. I felt cheated. I know so many people have read The Secret and the concept is AWESOME but I was getting confused. Being bipolar means that thinking positively can be near on impossible most days. Like attracts, like right?

Let me get this straight, I was attracting these feelings? I was making myself anxious, depressed and deeply lost?

The Secret brought out a want in me that I felt I couldn’t have because I thought differently. If I had actually dug deeper I would have realised what I have started to realise now. Manifestation and law of attraction does work, it has I am actually pretty good at attracting what I want. Most of my big wants have been attracted by manifesting.

The more I started to think about the way my mind worked differently to others, the more I continued to believe that I was creating this negative vortex.

Today, for no apparent reason I started to look into the law of attraction again and I am beginning to think people who are anxious use this law differently somehow? I know I sound fucking CRAY CRAY right now but I feel it in my bones while I am writing this that there is something more to this than meets the eye.

So now because I have a bee in my bonnet about the law of attraction (which has been there for an awful long time)  I am going to drive myself insane for the foreseeable future trying to figure out what the connection is. I get it……like attracts like. Ask and you will receive – although this doesn’t make sense either because we are lead to believe we should think we already have it?

Ok with this whole madness going on in my head I am going to look into more and find away that us ‘anxious heads’ can use the law of attraction effectively without feeling like we are creating the hell that we can live in and also without feeling anxious that we are doing it wrong somehow.

I know so many women that swear by it but I haven’t asked them whether they suffer constantly with anxiety? It also begs the question because they are seemingly getting what they desire does this then deplete anxiety from their lives? Literally mind fucked myself! LOL

Tomorrows live in the group will be insightful, probably confusing but I am going to find a way that we can understand the law of attraction more and also that we can use it even if we are feeling anxious. I believe that if we put a time frame on what we are wishing for – scrap that – what we are already feeling grateful for because we already have it then we can focus on it and don’t let any self doubt in. Focus on it for a said amount of time and we will then feel more powerful to keep the thought going.

Before you ask I haven’t had a drink today! lol I am feeling enlightened and do you know what it feels good.

I look forward to seeing you all tomorrow.

Love and light

Abby